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Stef Barti

girls taking selfie albufeira sunset

Why More Women Are Choosing the ChildFree Life

Welcome to She Thrives with Stef Barti, a podcast that empowers women to unapologetically live their best lives.

This blog post is based on Episode 53 of my podcast, She Thrives with Stef Barti. If you prefer to listen, you can check out the original podcast episode.

Today, we’re diving into a topic that’s close to my heart — why I’ve chosen the child-free life.

This is part of a new series where I’ll be sharing my personal reasons for not wanting children, offering a fresh perspective to the ongoing conversation.

So, let’s jump into it!

Some Women Have Known for Years

One of the main reasons I’ve chosen a child-free lifestyle is that I’ve just never wanted kids.

I figured this out when I was about 13 years old and, honestly, I’ve never looked back.

Sure, I spent my 20s questioning myself and trying to fit into societal expectations, but it always came back to the same conclusion — I didn’t want to raise a child, another human being.

group of girls surfing in Albufeira Portugal
awesome surfer ladies

It’s not about rejecting parenthood, but rather realizing that it’s simply not for me. The idea of nurturing and raising a child — beyond the cute baby stage — just doesn’t bring me joy.

Raising a Whole Human Being Isn’t appealing to them

While many people find joy in raising children, for me, the responsibility of creating and shaping a human life is somewhat of a daunting task I don’t want to take on.

Sure, I love babies, and I have a close bond with many kids in my life as a supportive aunt and mentor.

But the reality of what comes after the “cute” phase — the teenage years, the emotional challenges of adulthood — is something I’ve always seen as a huge responsibility, and not something I’m interested in.

stef barti exploring beautiful Riga canals
Exploring beautiful Riga canals

A legitimate Fear of pregnancy & Childbirth (Tokophobia) + the 1 Million things that can and do go wrong

For some, the pregnancy experience is exciting.

For me, it’s never been something I’ve felt drawn to.

I’d even go so far as to say I have a serious fear of pregnancy, or Tokophobia, which is something I’m not embarrassed to admit.

I’m just not interested in experiencing it.

stef barti inside of a hot air balloon in Cappadocia
Absolutely magical

Freedom and Flexibility

One of the biggest reasons I embrace a child-free life is my love for freedom.

I enjoy the flexibility to travel and live life on my own terms. I don’t want to worry about things like uprooting a child or worrying about their schooling.

Plus, I like having my roots in one place, without the added responsibility of raising a family. It’s a lifestyle that gives me the freedom to choose my commitments and make decisions that suit me.

Stef Barti in her dance studio working on a choreography
Just me feeling the music and working on my next choreography

Prioritizing Sleep

Let’s be real: sleep is a huge part of my self-care routine.

Anyone who’s had a newborn or young child knows how precious a full night of sleep can be, and that’s something I deeply value.

A child-free lifestyle allows me to prioritize my rest without interruptions, which is incredibly important for my well-being and sanity.

If you need some help to feel more grounded within, I created the perfect self love course to ignite the goddess in you ✨“Unleash Your Wild Feminine” ✨

Each room has a its own traditional living room
Our own living room from the yoga retreat. The guests bedrooms are Massive

Peace, Calm and Clean Spaces

I cherish the peace and cleanliness that comes with living child-free.

Stepping into a home that is quiet, peaceful, and orderly is one of the greatest pleasures in life.

It might sound trivial, but having a clean and calm space is something I deeply value in my daily life.

Financial Flexibility/ Financial Freedom

Let’s talk money: kids are expensive.

Me holding aome Romanian notes Lei
Crisp new dollar bills in Bucharest Romania

While I’m not saying child-free people are rich, there’s no denying that raising a child requires significant financial investment — from food and clothing to education and extracurriculars.

For me, that’s money I’d rather spend on experiences, self-care, or saving for the future.

Alone Time and Personal Space

As an introvert, alone time is essential for my mental health.

I need space to recharge, and that’s harder to come by when you have kids.

I hear moms joke about never being able to go to the bathroom alone, and that’s something I just can’t imagine.

I deeply value my personal time and solitude, which is easier to maintain when I’m not raising children.

Ethics and Global Warming Concerns

On a broader scale, I also struggle with the ethical implications of bringing children into the world today.

Stef Barti at Robean Bali Pole fitness for a fitness class
The most beautiful green space at Robean Bali

With all the suffering and instability happening globally, I personally feel uncomfortable contributing to overpopulation and bringing an innocent child into a world filled with uncertainty.

This is a more profound and personal reason that I’m not alone in feeling, though many don’t express it.

Simply ” Not Wanting them” (kids)

After 20 years of knowing I didn’t want children, I wake up every day and feel the same. Even as friends around me start families, I’ve never had the desire to follow suit.

Some people change their minds, and that’s completely okay, but for me, the decision remains the same.

Stef barti posing in the streets of Istanbul in front of the Galata tower
one step at a time

A Special Shoutout to All Dedicated and Proud Parents Out There 🫶🏾

While I don’t have kids, I want to give a special shoutout to all these amazing parents who are doing a great job.

I truly believe that great parents are a minority, and I love seeing parents who are introspective, kind, and open-minded.

Raising a child is one of the hardest jobs out there, and I have the deepest respect for those who do it with love, patience, and care.

Embracing All Choices / Pro-Choice 💕

To wrap up, I want to emphasize that this is about my personal choice, and I respect all choices women make, whether they choose to be child-free or become parents.

We’re all in this together, and my goal is to foster a community where all women can support one another without judgment.

Let’s keep the conversation respectful, and remember — we all deserve the freedom to choose our paths.

Stef Barti taking a picture of a beautiful coffee terrace in Tirana
A beautiful terrace, Tirana coffee culture

I hope this post offers some insights and adds value to the conversation about the child-free lifestyle.

Stay tuned for more episodes in this series, and if you have any questions, feel free to drop them in the comments!

Until next time, remember, you are a beautiful, unique creation, a masterpiece in your own right.

Stef Barti
Host of She Thrives with Stef Barti Podcast

Feel free to share this post with anyone who might benefit from it. And remember, you are a unique, beautiful creation, worthy of love and joy every day of the year.

Join Me on Instagram for More Wellness & Spirituality Content

Ladies, I’d love for you to join me on Instagram! My account is private because I’m intentionally fostering a community of like-minded women who are passionate about wellness, somatic healing, spirituality, and adventure. If you’re looking for a space to connect, learn, and grow, send me a follow request! I can’t wait to connect with you.

✨ Get my Free “Solo Female Travel Safety Checklist “ ✨

Thriving Girlies Newsletter✨

✨ Join the Thriving girlies newsletter for all things wellness, women dance and self love retreats, spirituality, self improvement and more ✨

stef barti having coffee at touche bali
it’s always the little things to me

More Wellness & Childfree Resources

  • Women Choosing a childfree life
  • Best ways to romanticize your life as a women
  • My favourite activity to help you increase your self love
  • Self care routine to implement daily
  • Add those Wellness activities to your routine to be happier
  • Trust your gut & make better decisions
  • This one thing can really change your life today
  • Podcast episodes for Childfree women
  • Best podcasts for Solo female travellers
  • Best podcasts for ADHD women
  • Best podcast episodes for women struggling with loneliness
  • Podcast episodes for women empowerment)
  • Best podcast episodes for women to change their lives and start thriving
  • Listen to these podcasts to help you have better female friendships and sisterhood

Additional Resource to help you slow down

Feminine embodiment & Self Love Practice

I created my “Unleash your Feminine Power” to help you really start diving into your own unique power.

Stef Barti at a Ubud waterfall springs
It’s time for us women to start appreciating our own magic

In this course, you will learn to connect with your body through some very sensual movements.

There is no fancy choreography to worry about. I really wanted to make this as simple as possible.

The goal is to give you a somatic practice that you can implement into your daily routine in order to start embodying your authentic self.

Stef Barti at a Ubud waterfall springs
Because you are magic and deserve to take care of yourself

It is high time we start prioritizing our relationship with our own body too.

Because in order to be truly happy and content in life, I really believe you need to strike for a balance.

That means feeding your soul, your heart, your body.

picture_stef_barti
You are magic !

And this is the goal of my ” Unleash your Feminine Power“.

The beautiful thing is that once you start getting in touch with that fire within, it only grows from there.

This energy will go on to light up your path, simultaneously guiding you through life.

So in a way, it is your own inner guiding compass. 💕

Picture of Stef Barti at an Armenian wedding dressed fashionably
It’s time to thrive girlies!

Get in Touch with your feminine today through the self love embodiment practice

ps. Don’t forget to join the conversation over on the podcast and the girlies club so you don’t miss anything 🫶🏾

More Feminine Energy Resource

What is Feminine Energy and How to Activate it?

More ways to activate your feminine energy

Women Self Love Wellness Retreat

I am so passionate about women empowerment. Everything I do is based on this. I want to see more women embrace their authentic selves. Trust me life gets so much better.

That’s the main focus of my self love women retreat. In this Wellness retreat, we go deep. I really love to connect with my fellow sisters.

That’s why I only do small groups of 10-12 women.

stef barti dancing portrait

This retreat is an invitation to embody your feminine and to dive into radical self love. Growth and shedding past limiting beliefs is the focal point.

We do this through various workshops, wellness practices such as breath work and lots of somatic movement.

picture of stef barti dancing in garden and happy

As a dance teacher, of course we will also be using the power of dance and music to process, release and shed things that are holding us back so we can be born again.

Welcome to our transformational retreat where the focus is all on YOU.

Not only that, but we do it in style and comfort.

villa and hosting place for Stef Barti's Self Love and embodiment women retreat in Malta
The most inviting pool 🙂

Our next retreat is in a breathtaking villa on the beautiful island of Gozo Malta. We will be staying in our own private villa.

And did I mention our own private chef? with our own private pool 🤭.

villa and hosting place for Stef Barti's Self Love and embodiment women retreat in Malta
villa and hosting place for Stef Barti's Self Love and embodiment women retreat in Malta

It is the perfect time to slow down and prioritize yourself.

Also, don’t forget to stay in touch for my Bali self love women wellness retreat, for pure feminine embodiment and lots of dancing also.

Join me on Socials

  • Youtube + Travel vlog & Self improvement
  • My Instagram for Women Self Love & Dance: @stefbarti
  • TikTok: @stefbarti_

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