12 Mistakes I Made in My 20s That You Can Learn From
Welcome to She Thrives with Stef Barti, a podcast dedicated to empowering women to live their best lives and thrive unapologetically.
This blog post is based on Episode 27 of my podcast, She Thrives with Stef Barti. If you prefer to listen, you can check out the original podcast episode.
Our 20s can often feel like a roller coaster – full of ups, downs, confusion, and unexpected twists.
It’s the time when we try to figure out who we are, what we want, and how to navigate the pressures of life, all while facing challenges we might not fully understand at the time.
Looking back, I realize that I made plenty of mistakes.
Some of them were small, some were big, but all of them taught me valuable lessons that I’m still learning from today.
In this blog post, I’ll share 12 ways I feel like I “screwed up” my 20s, and the lessons I took from them.
If you’re in your 20s, or even if you’re in your 30s or beyond, I hope these insights help you avoid some of the mistakes I made.
1. Financial Illiteracy: The Biggest Mistake
When I look back, one of the biggest mistakes I made in my 20s was not understanding money. 🤦🏾♀️
I had zero financial literacy, and I didn’t have a plan for my future. I spent without thinking about savings, investments, or the importance of building financial security.
Lesson: Start learning about personal finance early. There are countless resources available today, from podcasts to online courses, that can help you understand how to manage your money and plan for the future.
2. Constantly Doubting Yourself
It’s completely normal to doubt yourself when you’re in your 20s. You’re transitioning from high school to adulthood, and suddenly, you’re supposed to make huge decisions about your life.
But that constant self-doubt held me back more times than I’d like to admit.
Lesson: Trust yourself more. You won’t always have all the answers, and that’s okay. But listen to your intuition and make decisions based on what feels right for you, not just what others think.
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3. People-Pleasing Habits
I spent a lot of my 20s trying to please others, often at the cost of my own happiness. It’s something I was raised to do, but as I got older, I realized that constantly trying to make everyone happy only left me feeling unfulfilled.
Lesson: Break free from people-pleasing tendencies. Learn to set healthy boundaries and put your needs first. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
4. Caring Too Much About Other People’s Opinions
I can’t believe how much energy I spent worrying about what others thought of me. It held me back in so many ways, especially in my relationships and career.
Lesson: Don’t waste your precious energy on other people’s judgments. Focus on what you think about yourself because at the end of the day, you are the one who matters the most.
5. Not Trusting Yourself Enough
In my 20s, I often second-guessed my decisions and didn’t trust myself to make the right choices.
But as I entered my 30s, I realized that trust in yourself grows with experience. The more you trust your instincts, the more you develop that inner confidence.
Lesson: Trust your gut. The more you experience life, the more you’ll realize you have the strength and wisdom to handle whatever comes your way.
6. Forcing Myself Into a Career I Didn’t Want
One of the biggest mistakes I made was pursuing law school because I felt like it was the “right” thing to do.
I didn’t ask myself what I truly wanted at the time. Instead, I was influenced by others and societal expectations.
Lesson: Don’t choose a path simply because it’s what others expect of you. Take the time to figure out what truly excites and fulfills you. It’s okay to pivot if something doesn’t feel right.
7. Not Asking “What Do You Want?” Enough
I was so caught up in what I was supposed to do, I didn’t take enough time to ask myself what I wanted. My 20s were filled with external pressures, and I often ignored my internal desires.
Lesson: Regularly check in with yourself. Ask, “What do I really want?” This question should guide your decisions and keep you aligned with your true path.
8. Hanging Out with the Wrong Crowd
I got lucky in that I wasn’t hanging out with a particularly dangerous crowd, but I still ended up surrounded by people who didn’t share my interests or passions.
Looking back, I realize that I wasn’t nurturing the right relationships to help me grow.
Lesson: Surround yourself with people who inspire you, who share your values and interests, and who challenge you to be better. The right tribe will support your growth.
9. Expectations of Having It All Figured Out
In my 20s, I felt like I should have everything figured out—my career, my relationships, my life path. But life doesn’t work that way.
Lesson: Let go of the unrealistic pressure to have everything figured out. Life is a journey, and you’re allowed to change, grow, and evolve as you go. It’s okay to not have it all together.
10. Living Without Savings or Financial Security
As much as I hate to admit it, I spent my 20s living paycheck to paycheck, with no real savings or investments.
Lesson: Start saving and investing early, even if it’s just a small amount. The power of compounding interest and building savings over time is incredible.
11. Prioritizing Travel Over Financial Stability
While I don’t regret my travels—those experiences shaped who I am today—I do wish I had been more balanced.
In my quest to explore the world, I neglected building financial security and developing a strong career foundation.
Lesson: Balance is key. Travel, learn, and explore, but don’t neglect the need to build a secure future.
12. Not Taking Language Learning Seriously
I’ve always loved learning languages, but in my 20s, I didn’t prioritize it as much as I should have. Now, I wish I had.
Lesson: Never stop learning. Whether it’s a new language, skill, or hobby, continually growing and expanding your knowledge enriches your life in ways you can’t always predict.
Final Thoughts
Looking back, I can see how each of these “mistakes” helped shape who I am today.
None of these lessons were easy, but they’ve been crucial in my personal growth. So if you’re in your 20s or even in your 30’s, don’t be too hard on yourself if things aren’t going exactly as planned.
Use your time on planet earth as an opportunity to experiment, learn, and grow.✨🫶🏾
Remember, you are a beautiful, unique creation, and your journey is your own.
Don’t rush it. Enjoy the process, embrace the lessons, and allow yourself the grace to fail forward.
Stef Barti
Host of She Thrives with Stef Barti Podcast
Feel free to share this post with anyone who might benefit from it. And remember, you are a unique, beautiful creation, worthy of love and joy every day of the year.
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