21 Tips to Start Enjoying Your Own Company
The art of enjoying your alone time. Trust me, guys, I’m so excited about this today because this is a topic that I am passionate about.
This was an excerpt from my woman’s podcast She Thrives with Stef Barti
You can listen to the podcast version and also in video format below
Being alone and enjoying your alone time is a whole art by itself. I really believe that. And I’m very qualified to make this blog because I’m a professional at enjoying my alone time.
Oh my God, that’s a guilty pleasure of mine. So yeah, let’s talk about it, shall we?
Reframe your mind
This is something that’s always been natural as a kid. I’ve always been that person who just absolutely enjoyed my alone time. It wasn’t really that much of a big deal.
Maybe it’s because I’m also an introvert. But I’m a very social introvert, so people kind of get that mixed up.
Are you also a social introvert? 🙂
But I sat down and I tried to think as much as possible about some tips I could give people about how to enjoy their alone time.
So, number one thing I should say is, first of all, you have to reframe your mind.
I think a lot of people see alone time as something that they pity.
They feel quite sorry for themselves.
“Oh, I don’t have any friends and stuff like that.”
I’m not making fun of anyone here
I’m just saying the thoughts that I keep hearing from other friends and other people who ask questions about that a lot, trying to get better and get a grasp on this whole enjoying their own company.
So you need to reframe your mind.
Spending time alone is not a punishment.
And no, you’re not a loser because you’re spending time alone.
I don’t know why we got to think that way. I can’t even believe that someone actually said that.
Someone actually came to me to ask that last time.
Be your number 1 bestie
You need to see it as prime time.
You are spending time by yourself because guess what?
You are your number one bestie.
At least that’s how it should be.
Why?
Because at the end of the day, no one else is in your body with yourself but you.
Because at the end of the day, you could sit here all day. You could tell me how you feel, tell me all about your interests and your likes and dislikes.
You could expose all your problems and joys to me. But at the end of the day, no one else will understand you better than you.
You get what I’m saying?
Introspection time
So that’s why I think that people need to be able to appreciate their alone time because there is so much positive to gain from that.
It’s like you and your best friend or your friend or your whatever, your family. This is applicable even for your dog, your cat, whatever.
If you don’t spend time with these individuals, how else are you supposed to know them?
How else would you know that your best friend does that thing that really annoys you.
But you know, you still love him.
How else are you supposed to know all these little quirky things. All those things that make them them?
Or your cat, your dog, that specific food that they like?
How else are you supposed to gather that information so you can have a fuller picture of the person if you don’t spend time with them?”
Step by step, little by little
So at the same time, this is also applicable to you too. You need to be able to spend time with yourself. Be comfortable so that you can understand yourself better.
In solitude, you will gain so much more perspective that you’ve never really gained before.
But you need to be able to sit quietly, listen to yourself.
Doesn’t have to be quietly, but I mean you need to be able to spend time with you and not constantly trying to keep busy.
Don’t be scared of your own company
Some people are scared of their own company, which I understand. It could be scary, but I think that’s something that is a requirement for all of us.
By getting to know yourself better, you can adjust your life accordingly and you can start trusting yourself more.
The same way you make time for your best friend is the same way you need to make time for yourself also.
It’s that simple.
Ok I know, this is easier said than done.
But the more your practice, the easier it gets.
Date yourself
So another thing
You could see yourself as dating yourself, right?
Why is it that when you’re in a new relationship, we always put our best foot forward?
We want to date that other person.
We want to find out everything about them and stuff like that.
See it the same way.
You are pretty much dating yourself.
And if you’re new at this thing, just see it like that.
Have compassion
That way spending time alone will help you have compassion for yourself, patience, understanding, and help you approach life from a different angle.
Another point that I can say is if that’s a very hard concept for you.
If you’re really uncomfortable at the idea of being by yourself, just start thinking about different interests and hobbies.
Interests and hobbies
So you could start by filling your alone time with interests and hobbies.
If you don’t know, go back to your childhood to see what you enjoyed doing back then.
That can give you a nice starting point. because we used to enjoy a lot of things when we were kids.
Then, you know, adulthood being adulthood kind of zapped the joy out of things
Time to Reconnect with yourself
So when you’re spending time alone, that’s a great time to reconnect with your childhood self.
And then you can discover a lot of new hobbies such as drawing, dancing, painting.
Maybe you were a kid who enjoyed building legos and things.
Discovery time
So my point is, if you don’t spend that time by yourself, you are not going to find out.
All the things that bring you joy or not. What you like or don’t like.
So you can also see this kind of time as a reset.
Dive deeper
It’s also an opportunity for you to dive deeper within yourself.
Another thing is talking to yourself.
Now, it’s time to be that crazy lady who’s always talking to yourself all the time.
No need to be ashamed about it.
“Inside of the house.
Okay, I try not to take it outside too much, because that would be crazy. But yeah, when I’m in my house or whatever, my car, anything, I have full blown conversation with myself.
It’s almost like a friend talking to, you know, a friend. And I, this is where I try to apply compassion. I don’t say things like, oh my God, you so dumb, you so stupid.
“Whenever I try to catch myself saying, oh my God, I can’t believe I did this, I try to bring compassion back again, because the same way I would talk to my friend, I try to do that same treatment back to me.
Because I care about my friends, my close friends, I don’t talk to them badly.
Like, I don’t say things like, “oh my God, you’re so stupid, why would you do that?” No, of course not.
So I try my best to return the same courtesy back to me, and I think you should also start doing that too. You know, talk to yourself, like your very own cheerleader, your own bestie.
Just cheer yourself up.
And I really think it really does help.
Telling to yourself things like “yeah, I got this. Oh my God, I got this.”
“Okay, I can do this. Let’s go”. You know, things like that.
Believe in yourself
You also need to believe in yourself.
And by believing in yourself, you’re also teaching other people how to treat you. So these things are not woo woo stuff.
These are actually tangible actions that can really help improve your life.
Spend time with yourself. Have compassion for yourself.”
Treat yourself with love and respect
Treat yourself with love, respect, understanding, forgiveness.
And then that spills over other areas of your life.
That also shows people how to treat you.
By spending time with yourself, treating yourself well, you are also naturally working on your own boundaries. Because then you won’t tolerate other people treating you poorly.
So that’s another blog topic right there.
Another reason to talk to yourself is to keep you sane.
Okay, so we don’t want to end up in an asylum. 🤭
Just do it. Just do it in your house.
Positive Affirmation
I guess in a way this is also what positive affirmation is all about. Do it in front of your mirror.
Look at yourself.
Be like, “oh my God, yeah, I’m so cute today”
You should start and learn to incorporate them.
Because if you don’t do it, then who else is going to do it, right?
And what people need to understand is there is strength to that. There is a certain comfort, a certain power that comes from that practice.
Increased confidence and Feeling Grounded
The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more powerful you become. And I’m not saying powerful in a psychotic way.
I mean it in a grounded way.
Grounded is being content in your life.
Take your power back
The more content, happy, grounded you are, the less you expect from other people. So you take your power and autonomy back.
And that is always a positive thing.
So that way, whatever other people give you is always going to be a cherry on top.
I truly think this is a skill that all of us should have. Sadly, it’s not like that.
I have way too many friends that are constantly tearing themselves down. They’re constantly talking about themselves in a negative way.
It just breaks my heart.
If this resonates with you, I want you to realize that it doesn’t have to be that way.
Be delusional
It doesn’t have to be that way. You need to be a firm believer.
You need to be delusional about yourself.
Okay, not in a narcissistic way, but you need to spend time with yourself, believe in yourself, talk to yourself, hype yourself up, okay?
You can do this.
And I promise, once you start doing that, believing in yourself, that has a big domino effect.
And if you’re like, what the hell is this girl talking about?
Just practice.
I don’t really believe that practice makes perfect, but practice let’s you improve a bit day by day.
Stop sacrificing yourself
And now to sum it up.
How to enjoy your alone time?
See it as a date.
Enjoy it. Get excited.
Turn into a ritual.
Spend your time by yourself. It’s a time to reconnect with yourself without drama.
Selfish isn’t always a bad thing
And just being selfish, which I think is a requirement at some point in life.
We need to learn to be selfish, especially us women who are constantly conditioned to give.
Well, we need that time alone to fill up our cup.
Because if your cup is empty, what’s left to give?
You know, there’s nothing left to give at all.
Another example is in the plane when they tell you to put your own oxygen mask first before you help your neighbour.
In a way, this is how I see spending time alone. You need to put yourself first, replenish yourself first and then you can help others.
Fill your cup
That way you can be of use to other people.
So like I said, reframe your mind.
No you’re not a loser, if you’re spending time with yourself.
It has nothing to do with not having friends.
Value Yourself
On the contrary, it shows that you appreciate yourself and you value yourself, which is a skill that not many people have.
So learn to do that. Value yourself.
Get excited about spending time alone. Reframe your brain.
If it’s hard for you at first, indulge in old hobbies or new hobbies to kind of get you to appreciate that alone time.
And start practicing, talking to yourself. Become your friend. Become your own bestie.
Another thing is practice.
Practice, practice, practice.
Fake it till you make it.
It’s all about practice.
So this was my message for today. But before I go, remember, my love, that you are a beautiful, unique creation, a masterpiece, one of a kind, and can never be duplicated. I wish you a nice day, and I will see you in the next one.
Feminine Embodiment & Self Love Practice
I created my “Unleash your Feminine Power” to help you really start diving into your own unique power.
In this course, you will learn to connect with your body through some very sensual movements.
There is no fancy choreography to worry about. I really wanted to make this as simple as possible.
The goal is to give you a somatic practice that you can implement into your daily routine in order to start embodying your authentic self.
It is high time we start prioritizing our relationship with our own body too.
Because in order to be truly happy and content in life, I really believe you need to strike for a balance.
That means feeding your soul, your heart, your body.
And this is the goal of my ” Unleash your Feminine Power“.
The beautiful thing is that once you start getting in touch with that fire within, it only grows from there.
This energy will go on to light up your path, simultaneously guiding you through life.
So in a way, it is your own inner guiding compass. 💕
Get in Touch with your feminine today through the self love embodiment practice
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Women Self Love Wellness Retreat
I am so passionate about women empowerment. Everything I do is based on this. I want to see more women embrace their authentic selves. Trust me life gets so much better.
That’s the main focus of my self love women retreat. In this Wellness retreat, we go deep. I really love to connect with my fellow sisters.
That’s why I only do small groups of 10-12 women.
This retreat is an invitation to embody your feminine and to dive into radical self love. Growth and shedding past limiting beliefs is the focal point.
We do this through various workshops, wellness practices such as breath work and lots of somatic movement.
As a dance teacher, of course we will also be using the power of dance and music to process, release and shed things that are holding us back so we can be born again.
Welcome to our transformational retreat where the focus is all on YOU.
Not only that, but we do it in style and comfort.
Our next retreat is in a breathtaking villa on the beautiful island of Gozo Malta. We will be staying in our own private villa.
And did I mention our own private chef? with our own private pool 🤭.
It is the perfect time to slow down and prioritize yourself.
Also, don’t forget to stay in touch for my Bali self love women wellness retreat, for pure feminine embodiment and lots of dancing also.
Listen to The Women Self Improvement Podcast
There is a whole world waiting for you to discover.
Cheers to your next adventure
On that note, I am leaving you with this popular episode from my women podcast “She thrives” with Stef Barti
Keep being awesome 🙂
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