The Power of Parenting Yourself: Showing Up for Your Inner Child
Welcome to She Thrives with Stef Barti, a podcast dedicated to empowering women to live their best lives and thrive unapologetically.
This blog post is inspired by the latest episode 36 of the podcast, where we dive deep into the importance of showing up for ourselves, acknowledging unresolved trauma, and learning to nurture our own inner child.
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the demands of life or the pressures of constantly caring for others, this episode—and this blog—will resonate deeply with you.
As women, we often find ourselves pouring into others’ cups—whether it’s our partners, children, or friends.
We’re taught to care for everyone around us, but the question remains: who is showing up for you?
This is a reminder that you must also show up for yourself, not just as a parent, a friend, or a partner, but as the individual who deserves love, care, and self-compassion.
In today’s blog, I want to share a personal story that will help you reflect on the importance of continuing to care for yourself, and more importantly, how to nurture the parts of you that need healing.
So, let’s jump right in.
Parenting Yourself: Why It’s So Important
If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably been busy taking care of others—pouring love and energy into your family, your work, and even your friendships.
But what happens when it feels like no one is there to refill your own cup?
This question really hit home for me recently, as I reflected on my own journey of self-care and self-parenting.
I am a reformed people-pleaser, and in a not so distant pass, I found myself putting everyone else’s needs first, leaving my own needs unaddressed.
But over the years, I’ve learned that if you don’t show up for yourself, who will?
The truth is, you are your own best caretaker, and it’s time to parent yourself in the same way you would lovingly care for a child.
The inspiration for this message came from a seemingly random source—my swimming classes.
I know, it sounds funny, but bear with me.
When I was younger, I had a traumatic experience at a neighborhood pool.
One summer, while everyone else was having fun on the trampoline, I jumped in and I nearly drowned.
It was a terrifying experience, but my mom made me get back in the water.
At the time, I hated it, but looking back, I understand why she did it. She was teaching me how to face fear and embrace life—even after a traumatic experience.
Fast forward a few years, and I decided to improve my swimming skills.
I started taking private lessons, and I can’t tell you how much joy it brought me. It became the highlight of my week.
But while I was in the pool, working on myself, I couldn’t help but notice the parents sitting on the sidelines, watching their kids, looking exhausted and drained.
This got me thinking:
Are they also taking time to show up for their own inner child? When did we stop improving ourselves? When did we decide that, as adults, we should stop learning, growing, and having fun?
Why do we think that after a certain age, we don’t deserve the opportunity to play, to learn new skills, and to be joyful?
The Importance of Showing Up for Yourself
The reality is that we all need to continue growing and healing. We often forget that we carry unresolved trauma—whether from childhood, past relationships, or even past experiences.
Just like I needed to heal my fear of water, we all have our own emotional scars that need attention. The good news is, we can address these scars at any stage of our lives, and doing so is a vital part of self-parenting.
As women, we often think that taking time for ourselves is selfish, but it’s actually the opposite.
When we fail to take care of ourselves, we burn out, we grow resentful, and we neglect the parts of us that need love and attention.
By “parenting” ourselves, we create space for self-compassion and healing. It’s about showing up for your own needs—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Now, this doesn’t mean we stop showing up for others. Of course, as mothers, daughters, and friends, we have responsibilities and commitments.
But it’s important to remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Your health, your happiness, and your well-being are just as important as anyone else’s.
And the only way to be the best version of yourself for others is by filling your own cup first.
A Gentle Reminder for Everyone
This post is for everyone—whether you’re a parent, a childfree woman, or somewhere in between.
If you’re feeling tired, overworked, or emotionally drained, it’s a reminder that you need to show up for yourself too.
I admire the dedication of parents, especially those who pour so much love into their children. But even parents need to remember to care for themselves.
If you’re someone who’s not a parent, or you’ve been in a caretaker role for others, the same principle applies: Don’t forget to fill your own cup.
And if you’re struggling with unresolved trauma—like my fear of water—take the time to address it.
Healing is a lifelong journey, and there’s no better time than now to start showing up for yourself.
As I said in my podcast, “If you don’t show up for yourself, who else is going to show up for you?”
The Lifelong Commitment to Self-Care
Self-parenting isn’t a one-time thing.
It’s a lifelong commitment to continue healing, learning, and growing. It means showing up for yourself each day—whether that’s through small acts of self-love, taking time to rest, or pursuing new passions.
It’s about addressing your emotional needs and facing your fears, just like I faced my fear of water in those swimming classes.
The more we practice self-care, the more we evolve.
The more aware we become of our emotional patterns, the better we can break toxic cycles and replace them with healthier habits. This is a journey of awareness, compassion, and self-love.
If you need some help to embody your magic, I created the perfect self love course to ignite the goddess in you ✨“Unleash Your Wild Feminine” ✨
The Power of Community
Throughout this process, community is incredibly important.
I’ve always emphasized the importance of connecting with like-minded women—whether through online spaces or in person.
As I said on the podcast, “I’m so passionate about creating spaces where women can come together to heal and grow.”
We need a community to support us on this journey of self-parenting.
If you ever feel alone, remember that there are women out there who are walking the same path, experiencing the same struggles, and finding healing together.
This is why I also host retreats and online circles—because community is healing.
Thank you for reading today’s post! Remember to nurture yourself, show up for yourself, and keep working on your personal growth.
You are deserving of love, care, and happiness, and it all starts with showing up for yourself every single day.
Stef Barti
Host of She Thrives with Stef Barti Podcast
Feel free to share this post with anyone who might benefit from it. And remember, you are a unique, beautiful creation, worthy of love and joy every day of the year.
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Additional Resource to help you slow down
Feminine embodiment & Self Love Practice
I created my “Unleash your Feminine Power” to help you really start diving into your own unique power.
In this course, you will learn to connect with your body through some very sensual movements.
There is no fancy choreography to worry about. I really wanted to make this as simple as possible.
The goal is to give you a somatic practice that you can implement into your daily routine in order to start embodying your authentic self.
It is high time we start prioritizing our relationship with our own body too.
Because in order to be truly happy and content in life, I really believe you need to strike for a balance.
That means feeding your soul, your heart, your body.
And this is the goal of my ” Unleash your Feminine Power“.
The beautiful thing is that once you start getting in touch with that fire within, it only grows from there.
This energy will go on to light up your path, simultaneously guiding you through life.
So in a way, it is your own inner guiding compass. 💕
Get in Touch with your feminine today through the self love embodiment practice
ps. Don’t forget to join the conversation over on the podcast and the girlies club so you don’t miss anything 🫶🏾
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Women Self Love Wellness Retreat
I am so passionate about women empowerment. Everything I do is based on this. I want to see more women embrace their authentic selves. Trust me life gets so much better.
That’s the main focus of my self love women retreat. In this Wellness retreat, we go deep. I really love to connect with my fellow sisters.
That’s why I only do small groups of 10-12 women.
This retreat is an invitation to embody your feminine and to dive into radical self love. Growth and shedding past limiting beliefs is the focal point.
We do this through various workshops, wellness practices such as breath work and lots of somatic movement.
As a dance teacher, of course we will also be using the power of dance and music to process, release and shed things that are holding us back so we can be born again.
Welcome to our transformational retreat where the focus is all on YOU.
Not only that, but we do it in style and comfort.
Our next retreat is in a breathtaking villa on the beautiful island of Gozo Malta. We will be staying in our own private villa.
And did I mention our own private chef? with our own private pool 🤭.
It is the perfect time to slow down and prioritize yourself.
Also, don’t forget to stay in touch for my Bali self love women wellness retreat, for pure feminine embodiment and lots of dancing also.
Join me on Socials
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